


The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives

by mansikka



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Plans For The Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-08-11 05:51:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20148706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: This might be the beginning of their honeymoon, but there is a conversation Alec needs them to have.





	The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :) you can read this mostly as a standalone, though it does also continue on from [A Selfless Act](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18769207).

For the second day in a row, Magnus wakes before Alec. Which is unusual; typically Alec is an early riser, often kissing Magnus goodbye while he's still snug on his pillow whispering for him to go back to sleep. Alec's early mornings to get back to the Institute for work, training, or sparring with Jace, Magnus has grown used to over the time they've been together. So in these rare moments when _he_ wakes first he likes to savor it, silently watching Alec sleep.

Unlike the rest of the world, Magnus is privileged enough to see Alec truly relaxed on a daily basis. Though these sleepy moments are yet another side to an Alec at ease. Dropped shoulders, unclenched fingers, and a posture that says he's no longer on alert. And his _hair_, Magnus thinks, unable to stop himself from reaching out to push it back from his forehead, it's so soft and stood on end. Magnus _loves_ Alec like this.

His husband. Alec is his _husband_. A few days earlier, Magnus had thought he'd lost his world, but now he has everything he's ever dared to dream of having. There will be days to dwell on everything that brought them to his point that will no doubt make them both wistful for different circumstances, but they're here now. And there is nothing that will ever part them again.

The only thing more perfect than this moment would be if they were waking up somewhere else, on the first day of their honeymoon instead of about to rise and face whatever the Shadow World is going to throw at them today. Although perhaps not _quite_ today; Magnus belatedly remembers Jace's offer for him and Alec to take a week just for them, and lets his mind race for the possibilities. Though he won't let himself hope too much in case Alec changes his mind about them going away. There is no doubt enough Clave _paperwork_ to complete thanks to the last few days to keep Alec stuck at his desk for the next month.

"Good morning."

Magnus echoes Alec's sleepy smile, unable to resist leaning to drop a kiss on his forehead. "Good morning."

"It's early?"

"Quite. No need to hurry to wake just yet."

"We're on our _honeymoon_," Alec adds, licking his lips then reaching without looking to hook his hand around the back of Magnus' neck. He kisses him still smiling against Magnus' mouth rolling him over on to his back, finally opening his eyes. "And we have all _week_."

_Please_ don't hope, Magnus tells himself, even if he already is. "Is that still okay?"

Alec kisses him firmer then presses a trail of more into his neck, mouthing there before hugging him with a sigh. "Magnus. Of course it is."

"I'd understand if—"

"Understand _this_," Alec says, nosing at his ear before kissing the shell of it and pulling back to look at him. "Whatever else is going on around us, and whatever else we need to do, you—_we_—are my priority now. Okay?"

Affection blooms in Magnus' chest, and he has to claim another kiss. "Okay."

"I mean it. Magnus, so much has happened, that we… I just need you to know you're _first_ for me. Always. Okay?"

Magnus drapes his arms around Alec's neck and arches against him. "Well, in that case. Where would you like for us to start our honeymoon?"

* * *

For all the possibilities that are open to them now that he has his magic back, Magnus is struck by how simple their wants for their honeymoon are. Yes, they are staying in an overly luxurious hotel with more services to hand than any other guest would dream to ask for. And of course, if they decide to leave here tomorrow for another equally indulgent location, the most strenuous activity they have to perform is stepping through a portal. But everything else is exactly what a honeymoon should be; at least to Magnus' mind.

They're still grinning at each other in disbelief every time they have the opportunity to say the word _husband_. They both ache from how much they need to be together now they're away from the prying eyes of the rest of the world and taking time just for them. They're at peace, and indulging in one another, and every responsibility they have has been put on hold. Magnus wouldn't want anything more than this.

"You want another?"

Magnus lifts his head from where he's been half-dozing on a lounger on their hotel room balcony, squeezing Alec's ankle since his feet are resting in his lap. He takes in Alec's empty glass, the solitary olive as he swirls it, then leans over for a kiss, before draining his own drink.

"Sure."

"I'll get it," Alec says covering Magnus' hand when he goes to snap his fingers. Alec stands and stretches, distracting them both by leaning down for an unhurried kiss. Magnus can't resist reaching out to teasingly stroke his fingers over Alec's ass as he turns from him, echoing the grin he sends over his shoulder.

Magnus watches Alec through the balcony door as he prepares their drinks, noting how natural it comes to him to make cocktails now. Magnus can't help recalling with fondness the first time Alec had made them a drink, muttering under his breath as he scrolled through a recipe on his phone. None of those nerves are present now as Alec strolls back towards him with those cocktails in hand, sliding back into his seat next to Magnus without a care in the world.

"These look good."

"Thanks."

"So. Tell me more about this _Alliance_ rune," Magnus asks once they clink their glasses. They're taking a break from all that _indulging_ to catch up on the details he's missed over the past few days. The better ones at least; there are sad moments neither one of them are ready to share yet because this is their honeymoon and they will only indulge in nice things. For now.

"Well. I thought I'd hate being linked to Lorenzo in any way," Alec says, snorting a little, with that _look_ he always has when remembering something that always makes Magnus want to get inside his head so he can share it. 

"Oh?"

"But I liked it."

"You did?" Magnus asks, even more curious for his wistful smile.

"It wasn't him, specifically. In fact, it wasn't _Lorenzo_ at all. It was the magic. I could _feel_… Magnus, it was so much."

"In a… bad way?"

"No," Alec says, studying his palm in thought, circling his thumb over it while still holding on to his glass. "I didn't like how I couldn't control it at first. And to be honest… the only thing I could think about to help me control it, was thinking of _you_."

"Me?" Magnus doesn't mean to sound so surprised, but Alec smiles at him for it and leans over to steal a quick kiss.

"You."

"Oh."

"Anyway," Alec says, laughing at that surprise, "the magic. I liked it. I liked it a lot."

Now Magnus is wistful, wishing he'd had the opportunity to see Alec with magic. He's sure he would look incredible with it coursing through his veins, already knowing Alec would be the most dedicated of learners should magic somehow come to him.

"Then I am glad you had the opportunity to experience it, even if that time was only brief."

"I would have preferred to share _your_ magic," Alec adds as he raises his head to look at him, slotting his fingers through Magnus'.

Magnus' stomach gives a soft swoop for the thought. "I have to admit, I would have liked to experience that with you too."

"I could _feel_ it was Lorenzo's magic, you know? Like… I could feel his personality in it. Does that make sense?"

"It does, I think. Each warlock's magic has a certain… signature, I suppose."

"Well. Maybe that's why it took me a while to learn to control Lorenzo's."

"Oh?"

"Blustering. Cocky. Arrogant. Hiding who he really is behind a facade," Alec adds, smiling as he swirls his thumb over Magnus' palm. Magnus can't help laughing for it.

"Yes. Well."

"I _liked_ it," Alec says then, looking at him with a _want_ in his eyes that starts a fluttering in Magnus' heart.

"I'm glad."

"If I could do it again, I would."

Immediately Magnus thinks of Clary, knowing any chance of seeing that _Alliance_ rune is likely gone with her. No one who saw her draw it can replicate its form, and without her angelic connection, its use again will be impossible. Though Magnus knows any one of them would trade never seeing that rune again—and so much else—for having Clary back. It's going to take a while for them to get used to her being gone.

"Alexander. I would have been honored to share my magic with you," Magnus says with a final thought for Clary. Grieving for her is not something that's going anywhere, but they are on their honeymoon. Magnus reminds himself this is a time they are _supposed_ to be selfish, and that he shouldn't feel guilty for it.

Alec's smile puts a lump in Magnus' throat. "Really? You would?"

"Of course. _This_ means that we share everything now," Magnus says as he runs his thumb over Alec's wedding ring before squeezing around it. "Not that we didn't anyway."

"But sharing magic. It's _big_. I mean, it wasn't for Lorenzo. He was _just doing what any High Warlock would do_." Magnus ducks his head, laughing for Alec's eye roll to accompany his words. "But with you, it… it would be… Magnus. I wish we could."

Magnus lets his imagination run a little wild picturing Alec with _his_ magic, and feeling Alec in that magic as well. They can't have it, but now the idea is in his head Magnus knows he'll play with the thought from time to time. Wishing for something that can't be.

"Magnus," Alec says then, turning more towards him; whatever he's about to say he's nervous for saying. "I know it's our _honeymoon_, and everything. And we're supposed to just be _us_. And we don't get anywhere near enough time when it's just us, away from everything else."

"What is it?"

Alec's nerves are contagious. Magnus swallows away the dryness in his throat and smiles, hoping that it looks real enough to meet his eyes.

"It's just… we really do have things we need to talk about. For the future."

"Of course."

"Like… I don't know, Magnus. Like… family. And—and _kids_ one day?"

Now his heart is really racing. Magnus swallows back the tears threatening to build, because this is a _happy_ thing, and tears are not welcome. Or necessary.

"Well. You _are_ my family, Alexander," he says as he takes Alec's hand. "And as for children. If that is something we can have, then of course I want that with you."

"Yeah?"

Alec looks so _excited_; Magnus has to kiss him for it.

"Yes. I would love that."

"Obviously not right away," Alec says, winking at him, which makes Magnus' stomach jolt. "I don't want to _share_ you with anyone just yet."

Magnus feels the same, and is delighted for hearing Alec say it out loud. Especially with the way Alec then looks him over, which almost makes Magnus want them to go back inside. "No, me neither."

"When I thought I lost you… when I had to give you up…"

Alec's eyes fall closed, the pain of whatever he is thinking making his face pale. Magnus watches him tremble and turn his head away before he can make eye contact.

"Alec, it's okay. I know why—"

"I want you to have everything, Magnus. _Everything_. Even if that meant I couldn't be with you to share it. Even if… I would give all that I have—all that I _am_—to give you it. I _would_."

Magnus lets his eyes fall closed for the sting behind them, smiling when he looks again. "I should have been clearer before. I should have thought before speaking; perhaps I would have done had I not been in such agony myself. I might have felt like I was nothing without my magic, but Alexander, that feeling, it… the agony of not being with _you_ was so much more."

Alec shakes his head, absently kissing the back of his hand. "I don't think you need to compare the two. And I certainly don't want you to blame yourself for anything. We were both… you were hurting. I thought I was helping. I messed up, in the worst kind of way."

"If you don't feel I hold any blame in this, then I don't think you should either," Magnus says softly, watching Alec nod, then smiling when he turns to drop his head on to his shoulder. He presses a kiss to the top of Alec's hair and waits for him to sit up.

"In any case. When you were in Edom, I know I would have done literally anything to be with you. Literally. It wasn't just about _saving_ you; Magnus, I meant what I said before. I don't think I can live without you. I _know_ I can't."

"I feel the same," Magnus tells him, now having images of Alec suffering for them being apart. Fresh anger pools in him for his father. And even though Alec made the decision he did, made that horrendous choice for both of them without talking to him first, Magnus focuses all his blame and hatred on _Asmodeus_. His father saw Alec's self-doubt and manipulated him into thinking he wasn't enough, Magnus knows from the few details Alec has already told him. That, and knowing his own words must have led Alec to believe _he_ was something he could live without. Which he can't.

"I never felt that pain before, you know? Even before when we… with the Sword—"

"It's all behind us now," Magnus whispers, shaking his head when Alec looks. "Everything is okay now."

"I know it is," Alec agrees, shakily smiling at him. "It's not that at all. It was so hard to—all I wanted was _you_. And I had to leave you to… I didn't want to, not for a moment."

"I know." Magnus hugs him close in reassurance, feeling the tremble in his body as he does. He gets their glasses on the ground beside them so he can hold Alec properly, waiting for him to calm.

"I even asked Simon to turn me into a vampire so I could come get you," Alec says with a rueful laugh as he sits back up, throwing his arm around Magnus' shoulders and tugging him in.

Magnus tries to picture it, both the conversation and the outcome, and doesn't know what to think. "You did?"

"Magnus," Alec says, licking his lips in that nervous way he does sometimes. "I had to find a way to get to you. And when you were _gone_, I went through so much in your apothecary, and your books… I was looking for anything that would get me to you. _Anything_."

"Becoming a vampire is a _little_ extreme," Magnus teases, though doesn't know what to make of the look in Alec's eyes.

"Well. I'd prefer not to, obviously. But I would have, for you, if there wasn't any other way."

"Edom is gone," Magnus tells him, though not as much as he's telling himself. He wonders how long it's going to take for them both to realize it. Being completely free of his father is something he has long wished for, but never quite dared to believe was possible.

"I know. I just meant… I _mean_ that if there was a way for… if I could... _stay_, then I… if it was a possibility, I think it's something we should think about. _Talk_ about, at least."

There is a whistling sound in Magnus' ears as he starts to piece together what Alec is saying. He can't be thinking what he _thinks_ he is at all. Can he?

"Well—"

"Would you want me to?" Alec adds, smiling even if his eyes are filled with nervous doubt.

"Want you to?"

"You said before. You didn't want to think about me being _gone_."

"I _don't_." They're on their honeymoon. Losing Alec is the last thing he wants to think about on any day, but this week is off limits for any thoughts so devastating. He _will_ not think about it.

"So if there was a way for me to _not_ be gone… would you want it?" Alec adds, swallowing and having difficulty looking at him, though still attempting to smile.

Magnus' heart is now pounding. Alec _is_ talking about what he thinks he is. How can he be selfish enough to _want _it?

"Alexan—"

"If you don't, I get it," Alec adds, even if his expression says anything but. "I know that for you, it must be weird. The thought of having someone with you for always. Not just one lifetime."

"Alexander," Magnus says again with his voice cracking, "if there was any possibility of me _not_ losing you, ever, I would want it. With all that I am."

"Yeah?" Alec says, his voice also broken and so quiet Magnus can only make the word out for watching his mouth. He squeezes both Alec's hands between his own, running his thumb over Alec's wedding ring in reassurance.

"I never want to be without you. I don't. But becoming a vampire—"

"I don't want that," Alec says, shaking his head. "And I don't know if, or what, is possible. I saw some texts in your apothecary when I was trying to find a way to get to you. It was all a little vague. But I read things. And I saw things. And if there _was_ a way for me… not to go. We could think about it. Right?"

Magnus cradles his face between his hands and drops their foreheads together, shaking for the enormity of what Alec is saying. He doesn't even know if it's possible. He knows of rumors, of course, the whispers, half-finished spells and ceremonies scribbled in the columns of ancient texts. He also knows they shouldn't decide anything in the heat of the moment, that he shouldn't get his hopes up. Alec needs to really think about this before he commits to anything.

"It is something we can—should—look into," Magnus says, because he's also trying not to get his hopes up as well. Alec might want him that long, but if there is no way to make it happen; Magnus doesn't want to feel the agony of learning that they can't.

"Good. And we will. I just… I wanted you to know I was thinking about it. And so many things. I want _everything_ with you, Magnus."

Magnus kisses him because he doesn't trust his voice not to tremble, though feels the shiver in Alec anyway.

"But first," Alec says when they part, wrapping him up in another hug before he sits back, "we should… maybe we should toast."

"Toast?"

Alec nods and bends down to retrieve their glasses, pushing Magnus' into his hand. "Yes."

"To?"

Alec shrugs and smiles, a new lightness in his eyes that Magnus is sure he is wearing himself. "How about the first day of the rest of our lives?"


End file.
